Silence is Forbidden
by EmmettMonkeyMan
Summary: Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? Rated M for sensitive subjects & self harm.
1. Visits with Carlisle

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Visits with Carlisle**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

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My fingertip fluttered its way up my arm, lightly tracing the lavender hint to some areas. In the cold they turned a rich, deep purple. I sighed and rolled my cotton flannel T-Shirt down over my arm. I heard a distant clicking that was becoming louder be the second, but I ignored it, my eyes taking in the warm, cream color of the wall. I rested my forehead on my folded arms and flinched. I had to be more careful lately. I rubbed soothingly on the throbbing area, trying to make it calm again.

"Rosalie Hale?" A gentle voice whispered.

I lifted my head up slowly and peered at the young, brown haired woman tiredly. Her face held a gentle smile and her chocolate brown eyes were warm. "Dr. Cullen is ready for you."

I nodded, not able to talk from the hysteria building up. My legs threatened to collapse as I rose from the smooth leather and detached myself from the waiting room of the hospital. How had my parents thought I could handle this all by myself? Did they not see how hard this was?

My shaking hand reached obliviously to the wood of the 8ft door. I took a calming, deep breath and shifted from my left foot to the right.

"Ah, good morning Miss. Hale." A smooth, velvet like voice rang out.

I raised my head and took a sharp breath. Dr. Cullen looked like a model; blond hair and clear glass blue eyes. He stood at about 6ft 2in. He was slender, but muscular. He was utterly perfect.

"Come right on in." He stepped to the left of the door and gestured me into his office.

The hysteria came back. I quickly sat down before my legs gave out on my fragile frame. My heart was racing just as fast as someone who had just run a marathon, and my hands were shaking. I was so weak.

Dr. Cullen studied me for a few moments before sitting down behind his desk and offering me a glass of water. I took it just to have something to think about as I calmed myself down.

"My names Dr. Cullen, but please call me Carlisle." He smiled genuinely.

"R-Rosalie." I stammered quietly.

"Rosalie." He repeated. "What a pretty name. Should we get started?"

In my mind I wanted to run, but physically I gripped my hands around the seat and the glass of water and nodded stiffly. _I can do this,_ I thought. _I can do this._

Carlisle's hand reached slowly across the desk and rested on my shaking ones. "Rosalie, can you please calm down? Gentle, deep breaths. I think you're working yourself up over nothing. I am not going to do anything."

_I know that. _I said mentally, but no matter how many times I told myself, my body didn't react. I was scared. So scared. What was going to happen to me?

"We are just going to talk about some things." Carlisle continued soothingly. A few silent minutes later he let go of my hands and sat back. "Your mother phoned me yesterday, feeling very worried about your well being." He informed me.

My eyes fluttered from his gaze as a stray tear trickled down my cheek. My mother hated me, but this life was so hard. I couldn't possibly manage on my own.

"She feels as though you are deeply hurt, Rosalie." When Carlisle said my name, my eyes turned towards his voice.

I didn't know what to say. Was he waiting for an answer? For a reaction? Where was his pen and notepad?

"What are you thinking, Rosalie?"

I shrugged and stared at the mixture of browns swirled into the wood of the desk. I chewed on my bottom lip soothingly as a tear dripped from my chin.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle raise his eyebrows. "Anything you say in this room will be confidential, Rosalie. But, we will not be getting anywhere if you do not speak, will we?"

I shook my head and sighed. "Mom doesn't like me anymore."

He looked surprised. "Why would you think that?"

"Because of the way she's acting around me right now."

"Maybe she is just worried about you and doesn't know how to act around you just in case you are upset?" He suggested sensibly.

"Maybe." I agreed.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room and I fiddled with the bracelet that hung loosely around my wrist.

"How long have you been hurting yourself_?_" Carlisle suddenly asked.

My eyes flickered to his face then to my arms. "3 years." I closed my eyes briefly, in silent dread of an answer.

A sharp intake of breath. A cool wave of wind. I opened my eyes to see Carlisle's grief-stricken face. Why was he so hurt if he had only just met me? How could it affect someone so much? It was only 3 years. 3 years of screaming and terror. 3 years of sadness and hell. I was used to it, no big deal.

He swallowed deeply and leaned forward. "And only now people know?"

"Because of school." I muttered dryly. Everything would be fine if the school hadn't been so observant.

Carlisle shook his head sadly. "Rosalie, in our next session we need to talk about it. I can see from your face that you are worn out right now from talking so perhaps we'll do something else for today."

I knitted my brows in confusion as to what he wanted to do but went along with it anyway.

10 minutes later we were sat face to face – with no desk between us – and Carlisle had a clipboard in his hands.

Apparently he would ask a question and I had to answer as thoroughly as I could, and then he would add the amount of points I had at the end and we would plot the score on the "emotions chart."

I didn't see the point in it, but he seemed to think it worked.

"When was the last time you self-harmed?"

I flinched at the word but found the courage to speak out. "3 days ago."

"Have you had trouble sleeping?"

"Yes." I swallowed deeply and rubbed my eyes.

"How often do you have nightmares?"

I couldn't give him a truthful answer. I couldn't. "Often…"

"How many days in a week do you feel unhappy?"

"5 out of 7." I knotted my hands together in a tight ring.

"And finally, how long does it take roughly for someone to cheer you up?"

"1-2 hours."

He scribbled away on his notebook and then looked up at me. He reached over to his desk and handed me a Kleenex. He smiled sadly. "12" He picked up a small pin from a tub and plotted it in the red area of the chart hanging off of his door.

I got up and slowly made my way towards it. Red wasn't good. I swallowed as I stared at pin and the words written in the box around it. "Low," I read aloud. "Not a good week for the patient. Tiredness and sadness are the highest emotions this week. Something is probably troubling them; take it slow and easy with both parents and patient."

I laughed humorlessly at the poster. How could a piece of paper tell how I was feeling? It was the stupidest idea ever.

Carlisle smiled. "Pretty pathetic, right? It seems to help some people smile though."

I shrugged. "Can I go now?" I couldn't handle this 3 times a week. I really couldn't. I was a bottler. I preferred to bottle things up than to tell someone. I didn't like the feeling of being seen through. Especially not by a doctor.

Carlisle nodded and embraced me gently. He was a very caring and forward doctor. Maybe that was for the best. "See you Wednesday, Rosalie."

I smiled once more before turning and rushing towards the door.

I knew that my older brother Jasper would be waiting for me in the waiting room and I couldn't let him see me like this, so I snuck off quickly to the restroom to cool down.

The restroom was empty, apart from a small girl with black, spiky hair who was sat next to the sink with a few tears on her face. She ignored me as I walked in but watched me when I stood in front of the mirror and splashed my face with the cool water. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye to find her smiling. I turned. "Um…hello?"

"Hi!" she said happily. Wasn't she just crying a second ago? "My names Alice! Alice Cullen."

Cullen. _Cullen. _"You're related to Dr. Cullen." I stated.

Her eyes sparkled widely. "Yes! I'm his daughter. I can't have him as my doctor though because he's my papa. I have Dr. Williams down the hall. You must have Carlisle."

"Uh, yeah." I couldn't keep up with this girl. She was so little, but bubbly. It was like she was unleashing all her energy on me. It was like she hadn't talked for a week.

"He's wonderful!" She scrunched up her nose. "As a daddy, that is. I don't like it that he's a doctor sometimes because he can tell when something's wrong."

_You can say that again. _I just nodded my head as she babbled on about this and that before I told her I had to go.

"It was nice meeting you!" She called as I headed toward the door. "OH! You never told me your name?!"

"Rosalie. Rosalie Hale!" I called as I shut the door behind me and shook my head in confusion. What a strange girl. Lovely, but strange. My God, whose country was I living on today?

To say that I was relieved when I saw Jasper would be the understatement of the year. As soon as my green eyes recognized his face, I dashed forward and yanked him into a hug. Tears flowed freely down over my face.

"Rosie?" He asked soothingly, running his hand down my hair. I could always count on him to take care of me.

"Jazzy." I whispered back as I buried my face deep into his chest.

He chuckled lightly and slid his hands under my legs; lifting me up so that I was lying across his arms like a child. He smiled down at me for a second before carrying me out of the hospital.

"You can put me down now." I said.

He ignored me and placed me down once we got to the car. I rolled my eyes and got in the passenger seat.

He laughed loudly as he got the car into drive, but we soon settled down. Seriousness took over. "How was it?" He asked gently.

I shrugged and stared out of the window. Everyone acted differently around me since the Principal phoned my mom and told her that "there is something wrong with Rosalie."

I was the same person they had known before. Just because one of my darkest secrets were out, didn't mean I had changed.

Jasper sighed from the side of me and we didn't speak again until we were parked outside the house. "Mom has gone out. Dad's in his office as usual." He told me as he got out of the car.

I too got out and shut the door behind me. "Where's Judson?"

Jasper turned at the mention of our younger brother. "I don't know." It was probably the truth. Judson liked to get out of the house as often as he could. He also couldn't stand to be in the same room as our parents for too long. They were strict people, and hardly ever showed their true emotions. This is why it came to a bit of a shock to me when my mother broke down in tears the day the school phoned. Normally they were too wrapped up in the thought of money to worry about us and our school time.

Climbing the spiral staircase to my bedroom, I listened quietly to my father whistling in his office. I knew that in a few hours time he would emerge and ask me about my session at the hospital, but that wouldn't be until he finished his work.

I was okay with that though; the very last thing I wanted to do was talk about it.

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"Rosalie? Rosalie! Rose?" A muffled voice whispered loudly from behind the doorway to my room. "ROSE!"

I groaned and reached to rub my tired eyes. I quickly scrambled out of my bed as my wounds rubbed against the fabric of the sheets. The red numbers on the clock stated it was 3:03am.

Shoving on my hoodie, I very quietly padded across the wood floor to the door. I turned the handle and peeked out of the gap.

Judson stood there in a pair of boxers; his six pack gleaming in the moonlight that shone through the landing window.

I scrunched my eyes up; trying to see through the light, and ushered him into my room. I gently closed the door behind me and quickly walked to my bed.

I sat down and let my hair fall over my face like a cape - hoping it shielded my face from him. It felt like his eyes could burn holes through my skin, like I was burning. I glanced towards my hand – tracing a bluish vein with my eyes.

Judson stood firmly in the middle of the room – his body still and his eyes held on my face. Peeking up under my lashes, I saw that his jaw was tightly closed and his hands balled into fists.

I took in a sharp breath and pulled the covers around me. He might have been younger than me, but there wasn't a doubt that he was certainly stronger.

"Why are you cowering?" His husky voice asked from the shadows. He didn't feel like my brother at all. Despite the deepness in his voice, I picked up the slight edge of confusion on his tongue.

I didn't answer. Instead I raised my head and looked at him. "I'm scared Jud." I murmured.

The sharpness of his eyes degraded and he rushed towards me. His arms reached out and in seconds I was secured in his hug. "Why are you scared?" He asked.

"I don't know." I whispered. Of course I knew. Why wouldn't I know about _them? _About _him? _I let out a small sob and hugged my brother tightly. I was always the one that broke down in the family. Even my little brother had to take care of me. That was wrong, but I needed him, as much as he needed me.

He rested his head on my shoulder and rocked us both wordlessly. My heavy eyelids threatened to close again but I forced them open. The room blurred around me. I had to stay awake. I couldn't let _them _swallow me whole.

The fact that Judson was humming a lullaby didn't help the matter. I felt myself become weightless. My lips parted, my body sagged and my eyelids closed. Abruptly, I rocked myself up and stared wide-eyed at Judson. I could stay awake if I believed.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You were just falling asleep. Why aren't you willing to go to sleep?"

I started to bite my lip in anticipation. Should I tell him? No. I couldn't tell him. I hadn't even told Jasper these things. I had to protect my brothers; they were the only ones I had. They had to live a happy and safe life. "I'm not tired." I lied, pulling myself out of his grasp. I headed towards my giant, curved window and pulled myself up on the sill.

The neighborhood was calm; every house in complete darkness. A cat roamed the sidewalk below; his eyes glowing yellow in the night. There were very little cars in gear. All was silent on Oak Avenue.

Judson scoffed from behind me as he approached the window. "Bull. Complete bull. What's going on Rosie?"

My jaw clenched. What's going on? How could people not see that this is how I was? I had been like this for 3 whole years. I thought I was reacting fine. "Just go to bed, Judson. You shouldn't be up. Go to sleep."

"You shouldn't be up either." He grumbled as he exited my room. 16 year old's were so hard to deal with. Or was he the only observant 16 year old around?

I was able to keep my eyes open for 2 more hours before I felt someone moving me from the window. It felt like Jasper but I couldn't really tell.

"I love you Rosalie. Don't forget that." A gentle kiss found its way on my forehead as I drifted off into the darkness.

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:') I adopted this story, and I'm loving it :) Rosalie fanfics don't normally get many reviews but my old Rose story did so can I please get some reviews? I love you guys so much! feel free to check out my other stories while you're here!


	2. Running

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Running**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

School today was defiantly going to be eventful. The last time I had been in school, I was sat in the Principal's office crying and begging him not to tell my family about his recent discovery. Of course no adult in school ever listens.

"Rosalie, are you sure you have everything?" Mom asked for the 4th time as I rushed around grabbing my hat and scarf.

I stopped and stared at her. "Yes." Ever since Friday, mom acted as though I'd break any second. I didn't like it. I was still the same Rosalie.

"And you're positive you don't want me to walk you in?" She repeated.

I sighed inwardly. See what I mean? "Yes, Mom. I'm 17. I think I'm capable of walking through a door." She must have thought we were back to Pre-K.

She wiped her hands on the cloth and then nodded. She looked like she was about to reach out and hug me but thought differently of it and stayed in her place. She turned her attention to Jasper and Judson and I thankfully got the chance to sneak out of the door.

The wind hit me like a brick wall. It wasn't normally so cold in the middle of October. Oh well. I tightened my scarf and pulled my hat over my ears as I rushed forward. Dad decided that even though Jasper had a car, it was better to walk to school to have a happier and healthy lifestyle. Though it now came with consequences; Jasper had to keep an eye on me at all times to make sure that I wouldn't do anything stupid.

I hated how they were acting lately. I wasn't anymore vulnerable than I had been before. I knew that they just worried about me, but I didn't need them too.

They knew life was hard for me – as it was for them too. Like them, I had tried covering it up and pretending like everything was fine, but how could I if it wasn't? It wasn't fair. People have to let out their true feelings now and again; I just took longer to let mine out than some people. There was no law saying that you couldn't be depressed. No one could be happy all the time. They wouldn't be human.

"Rosalie! For God sake! Stop walking!" A familiar voice carried across the wind.

I whipped around; searching for the person that owned the voice. Jasper. He was running along the sidewalk with Judson close behind him – his scarf blowing in the wind like a snake dancing to a flute.

He reached me and grabbed my hand. "Don't." He whispered; the word gracefully sliding from his lips. "Please don't walk off like that, Rose. You know how I am."

"That's the whole point." I announced truthfully. I didn't really feel up to him watching me as if I was a little kid who couldn't be trusted.

He stared at me; the both of us standing perfectly still on the sidewalk. "What's wrong with you Rose?!" He burst hastily. "We used to be so close. I was always there for you, and you were always there for me. Now you've turned into some sad person that goes moping around as if you've given up! Stop making everyone around you feel guilty! Why do you have to be so selfish?"

The words hit me like a ton of bricks and I seemed to run out of air. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control the tears that fell rapidly down my face. With my hand clenched to my heart, I ran. And ran. And ran. The one person I thought understood me had just proved he didn't. I was alone more than ever.

I don't know how long I ran for. I just ran. I didn't turn up to school and didn't go home either. It was obvious they didn't want me.

Trailing back to the world from my muddled mind, my foot hit something and I was flying towards the ground. On instinct, my hands covered my face; protecting it from the impact that was soon to come. It came seconds later. Letting a sob break through my lips, I rolled over and stared at the floor. It was a rough patch of uneven concrete. I further evaluation, I noticed my hands and knees were bleeding and my stomach stinging with pain. I was hurting all over.

I sat up quickly and looked around. The place was out of the sight of any passers by. It seemed to be enclosed like a box, surrounded by a wall and two buildings. I was in the weird part of town again. Instead of running like I had once before, I felt oddly comfortable. No one was going to bother me here. No one was going to find me, either.

If I wanted, I would go home. But not yet.

I'd never thought of running away from home. Not even when the family had arguments that led to grudges and physical contact. But when finding this place, running away seemed like a pretty good idea. I can't bring myself to regret my decision to leave home. They didn't like how I was so what was the point in staying?

After collecting a few pieces of scrap from around the place, I settled it to look like a bed. It wasn't the same as my comfy bed at home but it was at least a little comfortable. I knew that sleep would be hard to find from the cold and the place that I was, but I never hardly slept that well anyway. I was too scared.

I sat in the faded, damp blanket that I had found a few miles away in a field for most of the night. I grew sleepy but there always seemed to be a sound that startled me wide awake.

I could deal with this. I could.

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_Crunch. Crunch. _

My hands rubbed my face obliviously as I awoke from slumber. _Thump. Thump._ My heart caught in my chest. What was that sound? It was my 5th night here at the alleyway. Well I think it was. It was hard to track time around this place. With no cell, no money and no clean clothes, I felt horrible. I don't know how I managed to survive on my school lunch for the last few days. Apples, crisps, sandwiches, chocolate. And one big bottle of water.

_Crunch. Crunch. _

I sucked in a deep breath – trying to stay quiet. The sound was coming closer. Silent tears began to lightly streak down my face. I was going to die. Someone was coming to murder me.

_Sigh. Crunch. Deep breath. _

A person. The sounds were definitely coming from a person. This was the end. I couldn't do this. I couldn't die here. I sucked back another round of air as a shiver ran through me, building up enough energy that I could to expand my lungs and scream.

"Ro-" I screamed, and then stopped. The person finished what they had started. "Rosalie?"

My eyes widened as I shuffled deeper under the cardboard and my blanket. It was pretty hard since I had nearly lost all ability to move from the cold. This wasn't how I'd planned my life out to become - or end.

I couldn't see the person, but he was tall. Definitely a man; very muscular. He was hiding in the shadows so I couldn't make out his features. How did he know my name?

Before I had time to question this, he stepped forward. Striding across the concrete in a quick, even pace. I wasn't scared anymore. I knew that face; Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

He was finally able to see me properly. "Oh good gracious! Rosalie, darling, come on out from there."

I would've if I could've, but I couldn't. It was only in that moment – in seeing his warm face and warm nature – that I felt my body. I was freezing – as though ice was running through my veins. How had I got through all these day out here? It was bitter. I just stared up at him blankly, hoping he'd realize I was too cold to move.

"You must be so cold." He muttered quietly, striding closer and bending down beside me. He gently reached for my shoulders and pulled me forward. He actually flinched from how cold I was.

In seconds, he had whipped his jacket, scarf and hat off and was securing them around me. He then proceeded to hold me so that my head was resting on his shoulder. For the first time in days, I felt comfortable. If I wasn't so cold, I would probably be dropping off to sleep.

"Call the search off," I heard Carlisle's voice announce. It was only a few seconds later that I realized he was on the phone. "I've found her. I'm on the way to the hospital." A slight pause. "Okay, good."

Then there was silence.

I must have been drifting in and out of consciousness because the next thing I knew, I was being secured into a car and lying flat on my back.

"We're on our way to the hospital, Rosalie. We'll be there soon, and you'll be in safe hands. You're going to be alright." I vaguely listened to what Carlisle was saying before I drifted off in my first peaceful sleep.

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**Please tell me what you guys think, and don't forget to leave a reviews if you liked it!:) I'd love to hear from you guys.  
**

**Emmett will make his appearance, after the next few chapters, don't worry :')  
**

**God bless you  
**


	3. Hospital

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Hospital**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

When I awoke, I heard crying. I didn't know who it belonged to but it made me terribly upset.

I shifted softly, trying not to unsettle anything around me. I didn't know where I was but I was hurting all over. The smell was familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. If only I was able to open my eyes. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the right amount of energy to open them and that made me frustrated.

"Rosalie?" A voice called. It sounded hopeful.

The only thing I could muster was a small, off-sounding groan. I swallowed deeply; trying to clear my airways. Something was obstructing them.

"She's stirring." Another voice whispered. "Rosie!"

With all my might I focused on the voices; on the sounds of crying and hopeful laughs. It was all I had to hold on to. I was able to squeeze my eyes tightly shut, and then they flickered open. I had focused enough to respond! I had done it. The blockage in my throat though scared me a little.

The first thing I saw was white. Pure white. I blinked frantically; trying to clear my vision. The next thing - or person - I saw was my brother, Jasper. He was holding tightly to my hand and crying. Why was he crying?

It was then that I realized where I was. A hospital. No! I couldn't be in a hospital. I hated hospitals. I had to get out!

Jasper was caught off guard completely when I flung back the blanket and tried to get up. Judson – who had been sitting quietly next to Jasper – quickly got up. "Whoa, Rose. You have to stay in bed." Before I was able to stop him, he had pushed me back into the bed with his hands gently.

I started crying. Big, uncontrollable tears. Jasper reached for me and held me against his chest as I cried. I was hurting all over and I couldn't remember what had happened.

"Rosalie! My little baby!" A voice sobbed loudly from the doorway.

I looked up tiredly at my mother's smiling face. It was strange seeing her crying and smiling at the same time. She wasn't normally the one for emotion. She launched forward and pulled me from Jasper into her arms. Dad joined her seconds later and they were both embracing me and painting me in kisses.

Carlisle – who had entered the room at the same time as my parents – stood silently to the side; watching me with a small smile.

When mom and dad finally settled down and pulled away, I was settled back into the bed with the sheet up to my waist. I tried not to cringe at the fact that I had an IV pump in my hand and an oxygen canola on my face. Just great.

"All of the doctors have been giving you lovely care," Mom began as she brushed strands of my hair. "Especially the two Dr. Cullen's."

My eyebrows rose. _Two Dr. Cullen's_? Was she feeling okay?

Carlisle laughed gracefully. "She means my son and I."

I tried not to look so surprised. He had another member of his family working in a hospital, then. That was just…wow. It must have been some kind of family tradition.

A little while later – when Dad had talked to me about running away and how scared it makes people – my parents left for work. I was sad to see them leave, but also glad because I was now able to rest. I was exhausted by the amount of emotion my parents had portrayed. I was happy to get some sleep.

I couldn't have been more further from the truth. Carlisle decided at that moment to have a talk with me about how I was dealing.

"Rosalie, what made you run away?" He asked bluntly. Oh, so we were going straight to the point today.

"I didn't plan on running away," My voice sounded off; not like me at all. "When Jasper yelled at me, I ran and I didn't stop. Then I realized that no one would want me back so I stayed and made home in that...place."

"You were lucky." He said simply, glancing up at me for a second and then back at the file in his hands.

My eyes flickered from my hand to his face. "What?"

"If I had not found you, you probably would have died. Your body would not have been able to handle the cold. It took us a few hours to get you back to your normal body temperature - it was touch and go at first."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I avoided answering. "How long have I been here?" I only thought it was a few hours. I can't believe I could've died. Shouldn't I be in worse condition?

"3 days, and only now you are waking up. Your body needed to rest. We helped along a little with that." He smiled gently.

"How did you find me?" I thought the place where I was had been secure and protected; that no one would find me there.

"We set up a neighborhood search team. Everyone in the area has been looking for you. You don't know how relieved everyone was when they were told I had found you and you were on your way to the hospital."

Before I could reply, there was a soft knock on the door, and then a boy, in about his mid-twenties, came walking into the small room in a doctor's cloak and clipboard in his hand.

"Hello Rosalie," He greeted as he pulled up a chair and sat it on the opposite side of Carlisle. "My name is Dr. Cullen. Well, Dr Edward Cullen." His eyes flickered to Carlisle in amusement and he smiled; the skin of his eyes scrunching gently.

His hair was tousled bronze and his eyes a liquid topaz that hid under his long, black lashes. His face was perfectly sculpted, like the rest of his body. High cheekbones, straight nose, perfect full lips with razor sharp, straight, white teeth. He looked like a carving or statue, perfectly smooth, alabaster white and very strong. He wasn't as muscular as his father, but lean and strong...and not without muscles of his own.

"Nice to meet you." I muttered quietly. I was blown away, by both doctors.

He smiled softly and got up again. Did he not like sitting down? The hospital seats were pretty uncomfortable. "I'm just going to check your vitals if that's okay?" He asked, not that my opinion mattered to him anyway.

He took my body temperature, pulse, blood pressure, heart rate and then checked my pupil size. I was feeling just a tad bit uncomfortable.

Once he was sat back down, he began to ask questions and update me on what was going on. I tried to keep up as quickly as I could. "Are you feeling any pain?"

I knotted my eyebrows in confusion. Why would I be in pain? Then I remembered that I had fallen. I looked down at my hands to realize I was covered in cuts and scrapes. I lifted up my pajama t-shirt – that my mother must have put on me – and also saw the same result. I shook my head at Edward even though my hands and feet hurt for some reason.

"Good." He nodded to himself. "Do you like food, Rosalie?"

The question came abruptly and I hesitated for a second. "Yes…" I bit my lip nervously. It wasn't that I didn't like food because I did. It was just the fact of eating loads of it. I could only manage a part of an average plate. I wasn't all that bothered if I starved or not. Daily things in life didn't really bother me.

He narrowed his eyes a small fraction at my claim but said nothing. "You have been here for 3 days in which you've been unconscious. You were dehydrated, starving and ill. You have Pernio, also known as chilblains. Chilblains typically develop because of an abnormal vascular response several hours after the area exposed to cold is re-warmed. Chilblains are itchy, painful, reddish, or purplish areas of swelling that usually affect the fingers, toes, nose, or ears. As you can see, the tips of your fingers are purple and look quite swelled. Are they sore?"

For the first time, I noticed my fingers. I ran my one finger over another and flinched. "Yes."

"We've got you on some Nifedipine which will help reduce the pain, and other than that you can just keep the areas warm." Edward seemed to like smiles. He had given me about 7 since he'd entered the room. He followed his dad in that way.

"We've had you on an IV to help get nutrients into you but to be honest, I don't think it's enough. You are underweight, Rosalie." He said as he walked over to a cabinet.

I already knew I was underweight. I didn't need to be reminded.

"So," He continued. "I – as your doctor – have decided to give you an NG tube for your remaining time here; which will be for about 5 more days."

An NG tube? I had heard of it before but wasn't quite sure on what it was.

Edward began speaking again as he opened a clear packet with a tube. "The tube – in your case – will be used for feeding and administering drugs. It will be a bit uncomfortable when it goes in but Carlisle and I will try to make it as comfortable as possible."

I nodded nervously.

Carlisle gently smiled and reached under the bed to pull it up into a sitting position. He then took his chair and held my shaking hand in his for a few seconds in silent comfort.

Edward came back to the bed with the tube, a pair of gloves and a glass of water with a straw. He pulled on his gloves and carefully handed me the glass of water.

My hands shook a little but I managed to hold it. Carlisle helped with his other hand though, to which I was grateful for.

I couldn't watch Edward as he got things prepared. I focused on my hand and tried to calm my breathing so they wouldn't see that I was freaking out.

He measured the tube from my nose to my ear and down to my stomach and then marked a point on the tube. I didn't ask what he was doing; I didn't think I wanted to know.

He placed a towel on my chest, handed a basin to Carlisle and then 'inspected my nostrils'. He then dipped quite a bit of the tube in a lubricant substance.

As he began passing the tube down my nostril, I gripped his wrist. I didn't know why I did it, maybe it was to make sure he didn't hurt me or because I wanted comfort.

"Okay you're doing great; just lean your head forward a little." He murmured gently.

Carlisle softly pushed my head towards my chest and lifted the straw to my mouth. As instructed I took slow and small sips. I gagged a little, but managed to hold back the rest.

It was so uncomfortable.

After Edward made sure the tube was in place by placing a stethoscope on my stomach, he taped the tube to my cheek and connected it to the bag of nutrients he had hanging on a drip. He sat down and patted my hand in comfort. "Well done, Rosalie. You handled that very well."

I acknowledged him with blank eyes; the tiredness making it hard to be aware of anything. I could have fallen asleep right there, and Edward seemed to realize this too. He laughed – a bell-like, graceful laugh that made me feel even more tired. "Get some sleep now and I'll see you tomorrow."

Carlisle wished me good night and then exited the room with his son.

How was I going to keep up with these Cullen's?

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**Sorry for this chapter, its kinda bad. Don't worry, Emmett will be in the future chapters, just not at the moment.  
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**I don't get many reviews so I'd be really pleased if I got some :) thanks :)  
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**xxxxx  
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	4. Big brother fights

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Big brother fights  
**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

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As 10am approached, there was a soft knock at the door. I quickly wrenched my eyelids open and stared at the door. "Yeah?" I called; my voice breaking from crying.

Edward came elegantly into the room. His eyes narrowed at me suspiciously as he took me in. "Been doing a lot of thinking lately?"

I looked down and fiddled with the cotton blanket over my lap. "No." Why were people so observant?

The bed dipped as he sat down on it and lowly stared at me. "Rosalie?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm fine."

That was a lie. It was far from the truth, but it was an automatic response. A knot tightened in my stomach and I buckled forward; my hand rushing to cover my mouth as I bent over. Sweat beads appeared on my face.

Edward hurriedly got up; reaching for the small basin on the stand. He shoved it in my lap and rubbed my back soothingly. "Nice, deep breaths. Good girl. In, out, in, out."

I gagged harshly; my eyes watering. I couldn't seem to get air; my throat felt tight and dry and the feeding tube was rubbing against the back - making me gag.

Edward took a tissue from the bureau and gently wiped my mouth and eyes with gentle hands. I was so embarrassed; it must have been disgusting to watch. "It's alright," he soothed gently. "You're okay."

After a few minutes I leaned back against the bed. I was shaking all over and feeling a little dizzy.

Edward helped me lie down more comfortably and then took the blanket away to keep me cool.

My eyes scrunched tightly together as I took deep breaths. I felt horrible. What was wrong with me? Perhaps I was working myself up a little too much.

"Rosalie?" Edward's soothing voice broke through my thoughts.

I flickered my eyes open slowly. "Yeah?"

"There is something bothering you."

I bit my lip and said nothing. That was the thing about doctors; they knew exactly when things weren't okay and they were impossible to be rude too.

Just as he was about to speak again, Carlisle came into the room. All these Cullen's were starting to bug me and I wasn't sure my mind could keep up with it.

He took in the situation and cocked his head to the side - the same expression on his face that his son had been wearing. "Rosalie, are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Just felt a little sick."

He too, like Edward had, narrowed his eyes. "I see."

My chest tightened as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I hated the whole idea of being in hospital. I just wanted to go home. I felt as though I was on show - being shown in front of people who wanted to scrutinize me all over. It was overbearing. I couldn't hold on as it was. I didn't need doctors ganging up on me.

A sob broke through my hold, and in seconds I was full-blown crying. I buried my face in my hands in shame. Crying was a weakness, at least for me.

I heard Carlisle walk forwards and then hushed whispers between the two echoed through the small room. They were probably talking about me, but I couldn't care less anymore. My heart was ready to give up.

"Rosalie?" Carlisle called gently.

"Yeah?" I said; my head still in my hands. I couldn't face them.

"Do you perhaps want to go for a walk?" His voice was hesitant; like I was going to say no.

I raised my head and wiped my tears with shaking fingers. How could they have possibly known I wanted to get out of here? Pushing my questions to the back of my mind, I nodded and slid myself to the edge of the bed.

Edward helped disconnect the tubes I was sporting, and clipped the feeding tube to my top so that it wouldn't drag all across the floor. At least I didn't have nutrients going into me now that he had unhooked it.

I was a bit unsteady when Carlisle helped me to my feet, and wavered a little bit. "Oops." I muttered, blushing.

He smiled. "You haven't gotten out of bed in 3 days. It's going to be a bit strange at the moment, but it's alright. "

I nodded and shook my legs out one by one. It felt great when they were stretched and relaxed. Eventually, I was okay to walk and Carlisle let go of me; settling to just hover by my side in case I needed him.

The walk was a short one. We didn't go far; just up the corridor and then back down. I was a little upset because I didn't want to go back to the horrible bed, but I could deal with it.

Just as we were about to go back into my room, though, Jasper strolled down the corridor. When he saw me, his walk turned to a jog and he reached me in seconds. "Rose!" He grinned.

I smiled softy, but it didn't quite reach my eyes. I remembered clearly what he'd said to me and it was the reason that had triggered me to run away. I was truly offended by his words and they had hurt me greatly. I thought I could trust him. I loved him as a brother so much and for years he was the only one that understood me, and now he was tearing me down and telling me I was being selfish. "Jazz…Why did you say that?"

Carlisle kept a steady hand on me as we walked whilst Edward was in front of me guiding me back towards the room. Neither of them interrupted my conversation with Jasper.

As Edward helped me onto the plain hospital bed, Jasper stared at the floor guiltily. "You know I didn't mean it, Rose." He looked back up at me, his eyes sad.

I didn't say anything, and the silence was long enough for him to realize what it meant. He shook his head and stepped closer across the tiled floor, his steps faltering slightly when my body tensed a fraction. I told myself it was just Jazz, and that he wouldn't hurt me. "How could you think I meant that Rose?"

"Maybe because you said it," I murmured. "You've always been the only one that truly understands me. You've always been there for me, and in the darkest moment you brushed me off because you thought I was being selfish!" Tears came unwillingly down my face. "Well let me tell you something! I didn't choose this, Jazz! I didn't wake up one day and decide to be sad! You don't know how badly you wish I could laugh and smile for real instead of faking it all the time. I just want to be happy." Exhausted, I collapsed back against the pillow and sobbed quietly.

"I think that is enough for today," Edward said after a minute of silence. He assessed me carefully with his eyes before looking over to Jazz. "Jasper, may I speak with you outside?"

Jasper nodded and didn't even look at me as he left the room. It was a like a stab to the chest.

Carlisle took a chair from the side and placed it beside my bed without saying a word. As he sat there and I stared up at the ceiling, neither of us spoke. It wasn't until I shifted position and sighed that he spoke up. "What are you thinking, Rosalie?"

"That my life is extremely fucked up." I turned my head to look at him – my expression blank.

He studied me – that therapist-like stare – and nodded. "Many people feel this way when life takes a turn for the worse."

"My life has always been like this." I muttered, silently regretting saying anything. Was it really that easy for therapists to get inside your head?

"Would you care to elaborate?" He asked, not even shifting a fraction at my confession.

I shrugged and turned back to look at the ceiling. "For about 3 years I've just felt hopeless. I normally get used to bad things happening, and I've been in hospital enough times. You'd think I'd be able to handle things now, but I can't. These past few weeks I've felt so lost and hurt. It's getting worse…they're getting worse…"

This time, Carlisle's steady face turned to that of confusion. "_They? _Who is getting worse, Rosalie?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat steadily and stayed silent for a few moments. Shit, I had slipped up. I'd mentioned it, them. Shit. "No one…"

He didn't push me; he seemed to realize I didn't feel like explaining.

I tried to change the topic of the conversation the other way as I watched Jasper through the little window in the door. He was still talking with Edward. "Are you a doctor or a therapist?"

Carlisle grinned. "Well, both, really. I started out as a doctor, and worked my way up the spectrum. I then become a therapist, and occasionally I do get to help my patients physically." He gave me a pointed look.

I smiled and sat up on the bed, trying to shake away the dizziness that hit me from the motion. "I met your daughter. In the bathroom." I didn't know why I said it, maybe deep down inside I was hoping we could be friends. I didn't have many, and the little girl who was known as Alice had been in therapy. Maybe we could understand each other.

He raised his eyebrow in surprise. "You did? After you left my office?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She was sat in there and we kind of started talking. She seems nice…but outgoing." I bit back the laugh that wanted to escape me.

His eyes glazed over and a small smile appeared on his face. He loved his daughter; that much was obvious. "Ah yes. Alice will be Alice. Small but mighty, as I like to call her." He shook his head. "She is a great kid and I am sure that she would love to meet you."

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

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Jasper came back into the room and sat on the edge of my bed – even though it was technically breaking the rules. Visitors weren't aloud to sit on a patient's bed because of germs or something. No one seemed to care though.

He stared at the feeding tube that Edward had hooked back up for me. "So, why aren't you eating?"

I clenched my jaw in frustration. "You saw me eat breakfast the other day."

"What," he laughed humorlessly. "Like 2 spoonfuls?"

"7 actually." I corrected quietly and stared down at my hands. "I wasn't hungry."

"Not hungry? You have a feeding tube! Everyone gets hungry before it comes to that!"

"Jasper," Edward warned quietly. "Rosalie is worn out quite enough, we talked about this. We need to address each issue calmly and Carlisle is capable of handling anything that needs sorting."

Jasper grumbled inaudibly. "If she doesn't address her problems then she's not going to get anywhere. I'll see you when I'm ready." He got up off the bed with a force that made me cringe and then left the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

My heart beating a hundred miles per hour, I tried to hold in my tears. I wanted to say so many things, and do so many things, but I couldn't. I so badly wanted to reach for that blade and drag it across my skin. The thought of it brought me weak to my knees. I needed it so badly.

"Your brother will come around, Rosalie." Carlisle told me calmly as he watched his son assess me once again. "And so will the rest of your family."

"My brother Judson hates me," I began. "Mom is emotional and can't understand why I'm like this. Dad is ashamed to call me his daughter and won't even look me in the eye and Jasper is angry at me and thinks I'm weak. Yeah, it's working out great."

"It's still early days. This might not be new to you, but to them, it is. They're only just finding out that the person that means a lot to them is not fine. It will take some time for them to get used to it." He told me.

I nodded, too tired to fight, and leaned back against the pillow.

Edward checked the feeding bag again by giving it a gentle squeeze and then checked my vital signs. He looked at the watch on his wrist and smiled. "Well, I've got to go check on other patients now, but you need your rest, and when you awake, I'll come check on you. I'm sure Carlisle will stay for a bit."

I nodded and watched him as he left the room. I didn't know what to say to Carlisle, and the silence was getting a little awkward. Doctors and hospitals were giving me a headache.

"You should get some sleep, Rosalie. You haven't done much today but you've been through a lot mentally." He smiled and settled back in the chair. "I can stay until you fall asleep if you'd like."

Carlisle was so caring and nice and I felt I couldn't deny his offer. But if he stayed, then he'd find out I couldn't sleep and that I had nightmares. They weren't something I ever spoke about and I didn't feel up to sharing them with Carlisle. They weren't something that should've been talked about.

"I'm not tired." I lied, shifting my eyes away from him so he wouldn't see how exhausted I was.

He sighed. "Rosalie, you need to stop doing this. You can't block everyone out. You need to speak up and talk. I can clearly see from the expression on your face that you are tired. Are you worried about something? I'm here to talk - we are going to have to sooner or later."

I didn't answer for a very long time, and I knew Carlisle was starting to get a bit concerned. "Sort of…" I finally answered. "Hospitals just unsettle me and I'm scared for the future. I don't think I could sleep right now." Okay, it wasn't the reason why I didn't want to sleep, but it was true.

Unfortunately, luck wasn't on my side today and I could feel myself trying to drift off to sleep. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I shifted, trying to keep myself awake, but Carlisle placed his hand on mine and I calmed a fraction. He tightened his grip and rubbed soothing circles. "Sleep now, Rosalie. I won't leave."

I stared at the wall, trying furiously to stay awake but in the end _they_ won…I'd lost again.

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**New chapter :) I know there's no Emmet yet, he will come in soon but just not yet! I need to find a way to get him in ;D lol.  
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**REVIEW! :) PLEASE! :)  
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	5. Alice Cullen

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Alice Cullen**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

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When I awoke, which I assumed was only hours later, I could hear people speaking. I tried to shake my head of all the horrid images that were flashing through my memory. I settled down against the pillow, taking comfort in the fact that I was awake and not trapped in a nightmare.

"Are you sure?" I focused on the voices, realizing they were the hushed whispers of Carlisle and Edward.

"Yes, Edward. Positive. She was fighting against sleep. She was clearly very tired, and when she started to drift off, she tried to stay awake. She stayed awake but out of it for around 10 minutes before she went fully under."

Edward sighed gently. "I see. Well, you'll have to get to that in therapy. It's also not doing her any good physically." I felt something shift beside me and realized it was probably Edward checking something.

I led there for a few moments, trying to focus on anything but sleep. It proved difficult with my eyes still shut. I opened them gently and stared around the plain room. It didn't take me long to find Carlisle who was still sat beside my bed and Edward who was checking my IV.

Carlisle was staring at me so he noticed that I was awake first. "Rosalie? You only slept 2 hours…You need a lot more rest."

I rolled my eyes and twisted in the bed until I felt comfortable. "I told you I wouldn't be able to sleep."

This time I was lucky. I was so grateful to whatever it was that didn't make me scream this time. Especially with Edward and Carlisle in the room.

Edward sat down next to his father, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. "I agree. Is something wrong?"

I swallowed deeply and averted my eyes a little too quickly to something other than their faces. "No."

"Rosalie," Carlisle warned; reminding me of our earlier conversation. He'd told me to stop blocking people out. "You can trust us to keep anything in this room private."

I tore my eyes from the bland wall and looked at Carlisle. I knew I could trust them, I just couldn't trust myself. I wasn't supposed to speak about this stuff. They'd lock me up.

I shook my head. "It's not that I don't trust you…I just…can't speak about it."

"_Can't?"_ He questioned quietly. "Rosalie?"

My heartbeat sped up at the thought of Carlisle getting suspicious about what was going on. I mentally slapped myself and tried to calm my breathing. Like always, it failed miserably. What was happening to my body? I was positive my temperature had spiked a few notches over the past few seconds and my breathing was coming in shallow pants.

I vaguely heard Edward call my name as hands pulled me up off of the pillow and into a sitting position. Someone laid the back of their hand against my cheek for a moment before it vanished. "Rosalie," I heard Edward's voice a little bit more clearly this time. "I need you to take a deep breath for me."

I reached up to claw at my heavy throat but was stopped by soft, gentle hands. I knew they were Carlisle's. "Sweetie, take a deep breath. In, out, in, out…"

Both of them coached my breathing for a long time before I started to calm down a little. Hot tears poured down my face but I didn't hide them. I was scared.

"Breathe," Edward reminded, rubbing my back soothingly. "That's it, good girl. Well done."

With shaky hands, I reached up to rub away the tears as my breathing slowed. "I'm sorry." I murmured weakly as they both lowered me against the pillows.

"Nonsense," Edward said with a small smile as he took out his stethoscope and asked permission to check my heart. I allowed him and tried not to focus on unsettling my breathing. "People have panic attacks all the time."

_Panic attacks_? I'd had a panic attack…Well that was new.

"Rosalie," Carlisle began; drawing my attention from Edward to him. "people tend to have panic attacks when they're afraid or panicked. What is bothering you?"

My heartbeat rose as the panic in me grew, and it didn't go unnoticed by Edward. I couldn't get out of this, could I? "N-Nothing."

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand over his eyes before he reached forward and took my hand. "Alright, I know you don't feel up to speaking. I, however, will need to discuss it in our therapy sessions at some point if we want this to work."

I stared at his calm and loving face and managed a weak nod before I collapsed against the bed. "I feel sick." I grumbled.

Edward grabbed the sick bowl from the side but I shook my head. I felt sick, but I didn't think I was going to actually throw up.

He kept it with him just in case and sat down again. The motions were making me feel dizzy. "I think you're working yourself up." He murmured quietly.

I closed my eyes for a brief second and nodded. "Maybe. I…there's nothing to do here. I just want to go home, but then I don't because I don't want to face those idiots I call my family." Once the words left my mouth, I longed to take them back. I couldn't say that out loud!

Carlisle smiled softly with amusement dancing in his eyes. "Well, only a few more days to go. If you'd like, I can get Alice to come visit in around an hour? She's very talkative and will keep you going."

A small smile came to my lips at the thought of Alice. I'd only met her for a few seconds, but she did seem really nice. And she went to therapy too. Maybe we had something in common.

I nodded my thanks to Carlisle as he left the room to talk to Alice on his cell. When she agreed, he came back and told me and left to get back to work up in his office. He had other patients to deal with.

After Edward left, I was alone in the plain hospital room with my thoughts for around 20 minutes. And then a loud, bell-like voice screeched outside my door. It made me jump, and I was surprised that someone as small as Alice had made such a noise.

"Hello Rosalie!" She greeted happily as she came bonding into the small room. I blinked to keep up with her sudden movements as she glided into the uncomfortable, plastic chair. "How are you doing?" Her eyes slid over the IV in my hand for a moment and then up to the feeding tube.

"Um…Hi, Alice. I'm doing alright."

She didn't even seem curious as to why I was in the hospital. I mean, she hadn't seen me since therapy. "Dad said that you were getting really bored in here, and I would too. We should definitely go shopping when you get out."

"Right." I rubbed at the area where a headache was forming dully. It was hard to keep up with her. Why would someone this bubbly and happy need therapy? "Um…I can do that. Sure. Shopping's cool. Hey, you don't go to my school."

She grinned at me. "Thankfully someone who agrees with me! Isn't shopping just the best thing in the world?! Oh, and I go to a private school…" She shrugged at my surprised expression.

I nodded. "Oh, I see. Must be nice. Shopping's nice, really. A great distraction. " I added quietly.

She heard my last input and couldn't help but jump with glee. "Yes! Shopping is such a nice distraction…I just got back actually!" She seemed to quiet down a bit as she looked back at me again after looking through her purse. "Oh…I'm sorry, you must be a little surprised. I know you don't know me or anything, but it'd be really nice to have a friend."

"Don't worry about it." I told her as quietly as I could. The headache was really getting to me. "I think it would be nice to be your friend."

She smiled thankfully and shook my hand. "Well, nice to meet you again." She winked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Can I paint your nails?"

Alice and I spent the next hour painting each others nails. As I painted her left hand, she steadied my hand with her right because I was still a little shaky. I gave her a grateful smile as I applied the thick, pink nail polish. I painted both her hands, but she refused to let me paint her toes even though she had done both my hands and feet.

She stared at my feet approvingly and looked back up to my face with a thoughtful expression. "I would do your hair but seeing as you're in hospital, I don't think it would be the best idea. You don't really seem up to it. Do you want to talk?" She sat down and hesitatingly took my hand.

"About what?" I whispered – seeming to lose my voice at the change of topic.

She shot me a small smile of sympathy and gestured to our surroundings. "About why you're in hospital."

I sighed. "You probably already know."

"Well, yes," She shrugged lightly. "But only what others have told me. I'd be nicer hearing it from you, and I'm here if you need me."

I nodded and jumped into it before I decided to back out. "I ran away from home on the way to school because my brother said something mean to me and it really hurt. I thought no one wanted me so I decided to make it easier for everyone by leaving. I found a quiet alley and hid there – surviving on the food I had in my lunch box. Then your dad found me, shaking and freezing. I could've died."

The pair of us sat in silence for a few moments – me reflecting on the experience, and Alice trying to take it in.

"Does that bother you?" When I raised an eyebrow at her she explained, "The fact that you could've died."

I pursed my lips and stared down at the cotton blanket. Could I trust her? Her dad was my therapist. "Not as much as it should've. Why?"

Her piercing blue eyes stared back at me with pure understanding and comfort. "Because I know what it feels like to want to die."

Shock rocked through me in strong waves. Why would someone like her want to die? I guess it wasn't my place to judge, so I stopped myself from blurting anything wrong out. "I'm sorry." Was all I managed to muster.

She shrugged; her eyes full of emotion. "It's not your fault. I guess we have a lot in common." She smiled slightly at that.

The conversation had suddenly become very heavy and I couldn't seem to find words. "I guess we do." Before I could register what I was doing, I reached forward from my hospital bed and gave Alice a gentle hug.

She shared her gratitude with me and we talked for what was hours. It was really easy to get on with a girl like Alice.

She talked to me about her insane childhood but how she always felt left out for being the only girl. We found out at that time that we both had 2 brothers, which made us smile knowingly at each other. I'd met Edward and her other brother, Emmett, was an EMT. I wasn't surprised at this. So far, every Cullen I'd met – except Alice – was in the medical career. She told me that she wasn't interested in anything to do with medicine, but instead she wanted to be like her mother who was an interior designer. Of course, Alice wanted to be a fashion designer, but she told me her mother's job was similar enough.

In return, I told her about Jasper and Judson and my extremely emotionless parents, and how sometimes I felt things got too much. She agreed with me.

I told her – unwillingly – about how my dad was a business man and spent any waking minute in his office or at work, and how my mom wasn't that quite open with sharing what she did during her day. I knew she worked; she just wasn't specific on exactly what she worked with. It didn't bother me though.

I lived a very different life to Alice but both of our emotions reflected sort of the same. She felt depressed, I felt depressed. And I was positive there was a lot more hidden underneath on both our parts.

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Emmett was mentioned! ;D haha yay;D review please?;') i love writing this story and I love hearing what you think.


	6. Sting of the blade

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Alice Cullen**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

The day for me to go home finally arrived. I was just glad to get out of the hospital. My hands were clearing up and only a little sore and the cuts on my hands and stomach were healed too. Edward had taken out the feeding tube the day before and informed me that physically I was recovering great from the temperature fall of my body. I had been lucky.

It was Sunday, and outside was rather quiet. Carlisle held the top of my arm in his gently as we waited outside the hospital doors for my family to arrive. I was still a little unsteady on my feet.

Jasper pulled up in one of the parking spots nearest to the hospital. I was grateful – standing up was making me a little dizzy. Carlisle continued to hold me until my brother took over and slid his arm around my waist.

He'd come back to visit me whilst I was at the hospital; apologizing briefly for acting the way he did. We were on speaking terms but there was still a measured distance between us. It made me a little sad.

"I'll let you have a break tomorrow, Rosalie." Carlisle said with a smile as he stood by the car. "Come to your session on Wednesday, but until then; just rest."

I nodded, thankful to get some rest. The whole hospital visit I'd been pestered by both Cullen's. It was time for me to just relax.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen." Jasper addressed politely before he climbed into the front seat of the car and took off out of the parking lot.

"Where are mom and dad?" I asked quietly.

Jasper sighed from the front seat; sliding me a quick glance before he looked back to the road. "Dad is locked away in the office. I don't even think he realized you were coming home today. Mom is…out."

I swallowed the lump of rejection in my throat and nodded. "So things are back to normal, then."

"Pretty much." Jasper agreed, forcing a small smile.

We arrived at the house in record time, and Jasper came around to help me out of the car. "Are you okay with going back to school tomorrow?" He asked as he steadied me with his left hand as he opened the front door with his right.

I nodded. "I want to get back to normal. Where's Judson?"

"He went out with some friends." Jasper frowned lightly and helped me over to the couch. "If you're not steady enough on your feet tomorrow; you're not going to school."

I grinned. "You bet I am. I might hate the place but it's better than sitting around here."

"Well," He began as he settled onto the opposite couch and turned on the TV. "that is true."

The silence was comforting for around 15 minutes. Jasper had found a program about the war and seemed intrigued. I doubt he'd even realize that I'd left if I tried to sneak out of the room.

"Jasper," I whispered softly and he turned to me slowly; his eyes still trained to the TV.

"Mmm?"

"Can I go to my room?" I asked; a sudden urge washing over me.

"What's wrong?" He asked; his full attention snapping towards my face. He saw me shaking and came to bend down in front of me. "Sweetie?" He murmured as he reached up to brush away a piece of my hair. "It's alright."

I lurched myself at him; my tight fists curling into his shirt and hair. I couldn't cut – not in the house with him here. It would hurt me and him. I had to distract myself. "Jazz." I cried.

"Sweetie," He soothed softly. "Calm down alright? You're okay. Everything's going to be fine. I'm sorry for being funny with you; it's just a lot to take in."

I nodded and tried to control the tears that were falling from my face.

"Rose," he tried again, patting my back soothingly. "You're really not going to school tomorrow. I think we need to sort things out with Carlisle. This isn't going to work. Why are you upset? Please let me in."

"NO!" I screeched loudly, pulling away from him shakily. "You can't call Carlisle now! I've been stuck with them for days and I just want to rest!"

He frowned, sitting back on his knees. "Rose, you can't shut people off all the time. We can't help you like this. You need to open up to us; it's the only way you can get better."

"What if I don't want to get better?" I screamed without thinking, instantly covering my mouth with my hand. I really shouldn't have said that; it would crush Jasper.

The legs he was leaning on collapsed under him quickly and he tried to stifle his sobs. "How could you say that?" He alleged, tears pooling down his grief-stricken face.

I shook my head, unable to speak myself, and slowly reached towards him. He fell into me willingly and the sobs broke through in big gasps. I soothed him softly, profoundly apologizing for what I had said. Although it was true, I wasn't going to allow Jasper to be hurt by it. I had to protect everyone.

"I'm sorry, Jazz. I'm so, so sorry."

He sniffled quickly and shook his head. "Its okay, Rose."

I knew it wasn't, but I didn't feel like pushing him. I knew he wanted to spend some time on his own.

"Can I please go to my room?" I asked softly, sitting him back gently after making sure he was okay.

He sighed and shook his head. "Please speak to Carlisle, Rose. You need too. You're so hurt. I just want my sister back." His voice cracked and I couldn't help but feel so upset because I'd done that. I'd hurt everyone.

With a sudden edge of guilt creeping over my already troubled mind, I sprinted from his grasp and headed straight up to my room, slamming the door behind me on the way. I couldn't deal with this.

I couldn't deal with people knowing.

I ran around the room trying not to make much noise as I searched for my tools. I needed to cut. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I was in so much pain. I let out a small bubble of pain and pulled out my secret stash of various sharp objects. My father hadn't searched my room thoroughly enough. I was so grateful.

I sat on the floor, leaning my back against the bed for support, and slowly rolled up the sleeve to my arm. I turned my arm gradually, savoring the soft veins in my wrists. They pulsed and throbbed readily and saliva released in my mouth. I needed this. Without looking, I carefully trailed the blade along my skin. I couldn't take it. It was way too pleasurable. I needed more. As I took a giant deep breath, the blade crashed down along my vein accidently and I let out a small curse. "Shit!" I removed the blade quickly and watched in horror as blood began pooling out of the wound. It was pooling too quickly, dropping out onto my wooden floor. "Crap, crap, crap." That wasn't supposed to happen.

I was determined not to go back to the hospital. I pushed forward and stood up quickly, swaying from the motion. I slowly made my way towards my drawers, trying to find an old t-shirt to cover the wound. I needed the bleeding to stop.

"Everything okay Rose?" Jasper called from downstairs, seemingly settled.

"Yeah!" I called out, my voice shaking a bit. "Spilt some soda that's all."

I stumbled backwards, quickly grabbing the desk beside me. "This is not good." Before I could fall over, I slid to the floor and tried to wrap the ripped t-shirt around the wound. The pale pink cloth stained red quickly and I nearly threw up.

Dizziness washed over me and black spots danced in front of my eyes. "No." I moaned, determined to stay upright. My breathing became uneven, and slowly my eyelids began to close. This was _not _good.

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We meet EMMETT in the next chapter! Review so you can meet him quicker;DDD

Oh wow! I'm so, so sorry for not updating in so long! I had major writers block in the first few weeks and then we've been dealing with a lot of family issues. It's been hectic here, and I've hardly been at home or able to access my documents. I tried my best to keep this chapter going, but I promise I'll try to update fast if I get the reviews! I'll try to write some more now whilst I'm on the computer!

I love you guys!


	7. Emmett

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Alice Cullen**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

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I wasn't sure how much later it was, but when I opened my eyes again it felt like hours.

"Rosalie?" An unfamiliar male voice called out to me. My confusion only heightened my fear. I wasn't in a familiar place, was I? My heartbeat sped, and I was pulled closer to the unfamiliar voice. "Easy there, sweetheart."

"Rosalie, it's okay." That was Jasper's voice now. He seemed far away. I didn't understand. "I'm right here, sweetie. I'm right here."

Before I had a chance to respond, the person holding me softly took my hand. "My name's Emmett. I'm an EMT at Forks General. Me and my partner, John, are going to take good care of you. Can you open your eyes for me sweetheart?"

It was only then that I realized my eyes had snapped back closed. I slowly opened them; Jasper's face coming into vision in front of me with another man who I assumed was John. I couldn't see Emmett as I was leaning up against his chest, but I could tell he was big.

I drew my attention from Jasper's face when John placed an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth and Emmett started moving my arm.

I took in a sharp breath and my breathing spiked again. Emmett began shifting me but the sudden movements made me sick, so I grasped onto his heavy, bright coat.

He smiled down at me softly, continuing to shift me onto the floor in front of him. "It's alright, Rosalie. I just need to get you lying down so we can treat you much quicker and effectively. I needed to sit you up to get you awake. You're going to be okay."

I moaned softly, alerting him I somewhat understood what he was saying.

John moved to sit at my head and he gently held it steady, keeping a firm hand on the oxygen mask over my face. Though I could see him whenever I looked up, my attention was on Emmett as he treated my arm. He was very big and muscular, but his hand movements were very graceful and soft. I barely felt a thing.

He met my gaze softly and I watched him add pressure to my arm whilst keeping the cloth in place. "Can you feel that, Rosalie?"

"No." I muttered out quietly, confused. Was I supposed to be able to feel it?

"Okay," He murmured back, concern taking over his features as he looked back at my hand and began working on stopping the bleeding.

John began to ask me questions, like when I was born, etc. I was able to answer him on some, but often looked to Jasper for help.

When he sat there with a concerned expression, I began to cry. "Jazz!"

He leaned forward and touched my shoulder gently. It soothed me a fraction. "Its okay, Rose. It's going to be fine. You're okay. I love you."

"Love you too." I grumbled, my attention going back to Emmett when he began bandaging up my arm. He caught my gaze again, noting my confusion.

"This is just until we get to the hospital. Dr. Cullen will need to look at this."

Understanding dawned on me and I tried to get up off of the floor. Emmett and John quickly held me down but were gentle when doing so.

"You need to stay nice and calm for me, Rosalie." Emmett said, gently removing his huge hands from my leg and chest. "You need to get checked out at the hospital."

"Carlisle be mad." I managed to get out, looking to Jasper for help when Emmett didn't understand.

Jasper sighed softly. "She only came out of the hospital this morning. She couldn't wait to get out of there…"

Emmett nodded softly. "Okay. Let's get you moving then, Rosalie. You'll be just fine, don't you worry about anything." He smiled the most beautiful smile and I calmed instantly. "It would be convenient to use a stretcher but it might be easier to wait until we get inside the ambulance."

"Okay." I muttered, ready to stand up.

Emmett shook his head, gently cradling the back of my head in his palm as he lifted me towards his chest. He then shifted his arm so it was supporting my back and kept his other one safely around my lower area and on my arm.

Jasper wrapped my pink fluffy blanket around me and then I was being carried ever so slowly down the stairs.

Neighbors were out in their yards, gawking like complete idiots, and I softly reached for the blanket with my good hand. I felt absolutely sick.

When we got inside the back of the ambulance, Emmett lowered me on to the gurney and a female paramedic, perched inside the ambulance, helped him settle me. He wrapped my blanket around me and strapped me in whilst she attached wires to my hands and chests. She took over John's place by my head to watch my breathing as he was driving. Emmett sat beside me, gently rubbing circles on my hand and keeping an eye on the bleeding on my arm.

"Jasper?" I asked.

"He's right in the front of the ambulance." Emmett told me with a soft smile. "Don't you worry about nobody but yourself, Rosalie."

Tears filled my eyes and he squeezed my hand reassuring. It was great to have someone like Emmett there. It calmed me.

I seemed to drift in and out of consciousness for a while because the next time Emmett spoke to me, we were at the hospital.

He let go of my hand briefly to get the bed moving and to make sure I was strapped down before he helped the other EMT open the door and get me out of the ambulance. Once we hit solid ground, he took my hand again, shining a small light into my eyes. He looked concerned.

"Rosalie? Are you with me?" He asked as the hospital ceiling whizzed past my eyes.

I groaned weakly, holding tightly onto his hand.

When the moving stopped and the walls and ceiling stilled, I closed my eyes and then looked around.

I was met by crystal clear blue eyes.

I suppressed another groan.

"Hello again Rosalie!"

Emmett smiled softly at Carlisle and parked the bed inside the curtains. He began giving information over to Carlisle, stating my BP readings, oxygen stats, etc. He also gave a detailed explanation of my injury and I felt my cheeks getting warm. "I also have a concern with lack of feeling in her lower arm. There were also signs of confusion when she first regained consciousness. She was unable to report back basic information about her life."

Carlisle took in the information given to him, smiling at me softly as he began fussing with all the machines. "Rosalie? Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?"

I stared at him for a few moments, trying to find my voice. "Carlisle." I murmured, my throat locking up on me. I coughed, trying to get air into my lungs.

He nodded softly, relief on his face. "Thank you, Emmett. We'll take it from here."

"Get better soon, Rosalie." Emmett murmured softly before he followed John out of the ER.

I longed for him to come back but was grateful when Jasper came to take my hand instead.

Carlisle looked to Jasper as he put the stethoscope into his ears and pushed over a bit of my clothing to reveal my chest. He pressed the cold bell to my skin and I shivered softly. "Do you know what happened exactly?"

Jasper shook his head. "I found her in her bedroom. I heard her fall. She was passed out on the floor with blood pooling out. I think she cut herself…" He sobbed, squeezing my hand.

Carlisle nodded in acknowledgment and continued the assessment on my chest. When he was finished, he took the small penlight out of his pocket and shone it into each of my eyes.

I seemed to drift in and out of consciousness again and the next time I came around, Carlisle and a nurse were gently inspecting the wound in my arm.

I felt slightly nauseated and my head felt fuzzy. I slowly shifted my body weight and Carlisle slowly raised his eyes to look at me.

"How are you feeling, Rosalie?" He asked sincerely, his voice gentle.

I wasn't able to find my voice, and eventually settled with staring at him blankly.

He left the nurse to deal with my arm, and bent down to come eye level with me. "Rosalie? Can you hear me? It's Carlisle." He reached for my good hand and squeezed it gently. "Can you squeeze my hand?"

My limbs felt like jelly but I was able to work up a small reaction that seemed similar to a squeeze, but I couldn't be sure.

Carlisle noticed the weakness in my movements, and gently brushed the hair out of my eyes in a comforting gesture. "Alright sweetheart. Are you feeling weak?"

I softly nodded my head, stopping quickly when it caused the nausea to build.

He looked to the nurse who was finishing up the stitches on my arm. "Jenna, can you inform the rest of Rosalie's team, and Dr. E Cullen that we need to start on blood transfusions."

I was too weak to protest. I simply rolled onto my back and closed my eyes, trying to shake the throbbing behind my eyes.

I was barely conscious during the process of starting blood transfusions. My mind was fuzzy; everything passing in a blur.

Eventually, the chaotic voices and noises of the hospital faded around me and I passed into a silent oblivion.

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**Isn't Emmett just the cutest? what do you want to happen now? :)  
**


	8. Innocent, beautiful soul

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Alice Cullen**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

**▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬**

I woke up just as the sun was rising the next morning. I listened quietly as the beeps of the heart monitor gradually became more frequent – alerting the change in my heart.

Edward was checking one of the machines, but turned to look at me when he heard the monitor. "Good morning, Rosalie." He murmured softly.

I smiled at him, knowing he wouldn't miss the quiver in my weak smile. I felt terrible.

He approached me quietly, gently shifting the tubes that had tangled across the bed and over my body. "How are you feeling?"

I shook my head at him softly, informing him I didn't feel well enough to talk.

He sighed gently and unwound the stethoscope from around his neck. "May I?" he asked.

I nodded; closing my eyes for a few minutes as he thoroughly examined my chest and lungs. I didn't feel so bad, just tingly and weak. My eyes were throbbing and my head felt a thousand times heavier than it normally did.

Edward examined me a further while more, but then announced he had to leave and that he would be back later.

I hardly paid attention to anything that was happening around me. People came in and out of my room in a gentle blur, the room was quiet apart from the beeping of the monitors and I kept my eyes firmly closed.

However, after what seemed like hours, the door slowly clicked open again, and my eyes opened on impulse. I wasn't feeling so dizzy anymore.

A tall, looming figure stepped into the shadows and my breathing hitched for a second before he stepped out into the room.

Standing at about 6'5", Emmett was definitely taller than Carlisle and Edward, positively towering over Alice by nearly two feet. His strength gave him a rather filled out form, but I didn't really see him as being overweight, just muscular. He was very handsome with smiling dimples and slightly curly, dark brown hair that almost looked black in the shadows of my room, giving him a childish look not often seen in a grown man such as him.

As he sat down in one of the chairs to the side of the bed with a graceful motion that seemed impossible for someone of his size and muscle, he smiled at me softly, the light reflecting in his clear, glass blue eyes. "Hello, Rosalie." His voice was deep but soft; very soothing.

"What are you doing here?" I rasped softly, noticing that he had changed out of his bright uniform, wearing a simple gray sweater that clung to his muscles and faded black pants. He looked beautiful.

He grinned, the dimples tugging at his pale lips. "Carlisle insisted that I come keep you company since he and Edward have work to do, and your family are busy for the meantime." He cast a small look at the blood that was steadily dripping into my arm. He pointed at it with his thumb and gave me a lopsided smile. "Also seems like you and I have the same blood type. It seems to come in handy considering the circumstances of your condition right now."

"You're giving me blood?" I asked, looking at the tubes with slight fascination.

He shrugged. "I gave blood last night, and some more this morning. I always donate, obviously under the rules and regulations and whatnot. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

I smiled softly; he didn't even know me and he was willing to give me his blood.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, before he sat back and took on a serious expression. "I know that it's none of my business…but you did that to yourself?" He nodded towards the bandage on my wrist. Of course he knew I did it to myself – he was an EMT.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat and nodded. "Yeah, I'm crazy, I know."

He smiled sadly. "You're not crazy, you're hurting. There's a difference."

I studied him for a few seconds, waiting for him to laugh and call me a freak, but he didn't. He was absolutely serious. He didn't think I was crazy. "I guess you could say that." I whispered.

He leaned forward, leaning on his knees. "There's nothing to be ashamed of, Rosalie. We all have feelings, we all get hurt sometimes, unfortunately some more than others. It's okay not to be okay. I've seen so many cases of self-injury and attempted suicide in the years I've worked, and it's not very long."

I nodded mutely. "Must be hard for you."

He shook his head. "No, not hard, upsetting mostly. Pretty girls like you shouldn't cut."

When I wouldn't look at him, he reached forward, and with a surprisingly gentle touch, lifted my chin to look at him. "You're hurting." He stated quietly.

I nodded, trying to stop the tears that were ready to fall from my eyes. "Yes, but I can't talk to you about it. You're a paramedic."

He laughed; a genuine, beautiful, bell-like laugh. "Yup, I'm a paramedic. It's that whole patient mixing policy right? Well…I'm pretty sure I'm not working right now." He winked at me, causing a small laugh to escape my lips. He only grinned wider.

"You wouldn't understand." I whispered inaudibly, the shakiness in my voice giving away my emotions. "No one can understand the way my mind works, what I see, what I hear, or what I feel. At least not yet…I'm not…I'm not brave enough."

He rose from the chair slowly, with an ease that brought Goosebumps to my skin. In the same slow motion, he bent down slightly to come to level with my face, and leaned on the metal bars of the bed. "Try me, Rosalie." His eyes were wide, open, sincere windows, leading directly to his innocent, beautiful soul. "From what I see, you're a very brave young woman. One day, I'll understand."

The breath caught in my throat and he eased me back down to rest my head on the pillow since I'd sat up to look at him. As he grinned, a few of his curls drooped down into his eyes.

"I'm not the most emotional person, but I know when someone needs me, and when they don't know how to live anymore. I know _exactly _how it feels to feel so low…" As he walked towards the door, signaling our time was over, he stared at me for a few seconds. "Get some rest, Rosalie." There was sadness in his eyes.

"You'll come back?" I asked weakly, sounding seriously desperate. I wanted him, I realized with a sudden jolt. I wanted him to hug me, to soothe me. I wanted to tell him everything about my messed up mind, about _them._

He smiled; the light returning to his eyes. "Tomorrow." He promised, before he slipped into the shadows of the hall.

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Aw, isn't that the sweetest thing? Rosalie's falling for Emmett..he's trying to understand her :) sweet :) Love at first sight ;D


	9. Make them stop!

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Alice Cullen**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

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Just like he'd promised, Emmett came back to visit me in the small, plain room early the next morning. I was asleep when he arrived, and awoke to him pressing my nose with his soft index finger. When my eyes opened, his face filled my view – his blue eyes shining with amusement. "Good morning, Rosalie!"

I stifled a groan and slowly came around from slumber. It wasn't any later than 10am. I had actually slept. Had that been due to the blue-eyed, black-haired boy before me? He had stalked my dreams, after all.

"Morning, Emmett." I reached up to wipe my stinging eyes, catching the IV in my vision. I realized the transfusions had finished. I groaned, causing Emmett to laugh softly. The laugh rattled through his body, his chest bobbing from the sound. He was so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful.

He caught my wrist just as it was about to reach the bed, and turned it to study the IV. "Don't worry too much about this; Edward says that you should be able to go home tomorrow."

I smiled softly, grateful for the much awaited information. "Best news I've heard all week."

He smiled back at me and hesitantly reached for my hand so that he could squeeze my fingers. "I have work at 11, but I promised you I would come back."

"No one keeps promises to me," I said softly. "I was expecting you not to turn up."

"And leave a beautiful girl like you all alone?" Like the day before, he leaned on the railing on the bed, his elbows either side of his beautiful face, and stared at me with sharp, open eyes.

I managed a smile; I felt like jelly just looking at him. "Alone, my thoughts will kill me."

He nodded, as if he understood, and brushed pieces of my blond hair out of my face. "You have bruises under your eyes."

"I don't sleep much." Were they really that noticeable? Or was he just observant?

This time, his soft smile seemed sad, almost. "I understand."

"Do you not sleep?" I searched his pale, perfect face with careful eyes; looking for any sign that indicated he wasn't as happy as I thought. There was no evidence – just a slight droop of the skin around his eyes.

He shrugged, though it seemed distant and half there. He was clearly uncomfortable. "Not really. Partly because of my job."

I nodded, resting my head back against the pillows and staring up at the tiled ceiling. I could feel his presence at the side of me, covering me with overwhelming comfort that was nearly replacing the cold.

With Emmett around, the silence was bearable. It wasn't until he left that I felt all my dark, cold emotions rushing back. He was like the sunshine in my life; peeping through the rain clouds when I needed him the most. Without him, I felt empty, lost and afraid.

Hot tears dripped down my face without meaning, and I mentally hit myself for being so weak. Nothing had particularly gone wrong so far, and I was crying? There was no reason for me to cry, except for the crushing, bone-deep emotions that were eating me from the inside out.

The silence killed me – _they _took over. There was nothing I could do, but question my sanity in times where the silence was actually silent.

Edward and Carlisle came in sometime later, only to find me inside a mental lock-down. My hands were clenched around the railings on either side of the bed, my body rocking back and forth in a somewhat comforting motion, and a gargled gagging sound seemed to be coming from my mouth. My mind was on fire; noisy and deadly. Very deadly.

Edward reached for me first and tried unsuccessfully to unclasp my bone-white hands from around the metal. Carlisle was at the other side of me, resting his strong but steady hand in the middle of my back in an attempt to stop my rocking.

When their strategy seemed to fail, Carlisle grasped underneath my armpits, unwrapping my hands, and pulled me up. At the same time, Edward grabbed both my ankles in one of his large hands, and in seconds I was flat on my back, sobs escaping my open mouth.

Carlisle removed his hands, shifting them so that they were resting softly on my shoulders so that he could hold me to the bed. "Rosalie? You're alright. It's just Carlisle. You're going to be okay."

Edward appeared in my view from the top of the bed and stared down at me in concern. "Hush, Rosalie. You are working yourself up."

With nothing but the urge to cry, I eventually spread limply in the bed and tried to steady my sobs. On instinct, my hands went straight to my ears; as if I could find the strength to block out their isolated screams.

Time passed with no feeling. I was completely numb and lost. I barely acknowledged what I saw or what I heard, except for the distant screaming that I thought was coming from me and the fast voices of Edward and Carlisle as they talked.

Eventually, everything stopped. Time came to a standstill. The silence was silent.

It was dark when Emmett finally came back to visit me. His bright neon uniform didn't go unnoticed in the dark room, and it made my vision slightly fussy for the time being.

When Emmett's pale face came close to mine, I saw the concern as he took in my physical state. "Rosalie?"

Carlisle was situated beside the bed – observing me with intelligent eyes. "We needed to restrain her, in attempt to limit the risk of her injuring herself more." He meant that they had restrained my hands and feet from moving, for my own safety.

My eyes were desperate as I looked through the haze at Emmett. He was my escape, my beautiful angel.

His soft, large hand rested gently on my warm cheek and I felt a tear roll down onto his hand. "Its okay Rosalie, its going to be okay."

"Emmett," I sounded drugged, dazed and very broken. "Make them stop."

"Make who stop?" He whispered, very close to my face now.

"The voices...Emmett!" I screeched and then broke into a sob. "Please make them stop…"

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**Has Rosalie cracked? Is she finally letting her guard down? How should Emmett react?  
**


	10. I love you

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: I love you**

**Protection: **© Copyright 2012 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved. Originally a story of SavannahAliciaCullen – a good friend of mine.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

******▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬****  
**

"Rosalie?" I vaguely noticed that someone was holding me, lightly shaking me to get my attention, though I was unable to respond to them. "Rosalie, breathe for me." I was pulled from my sitting position and felt a soft material underneath me. "Deep breaths, c'mon Rosalie. Rose! Breathe!"

My breath came to me all at once, and I hazily heard myself coughing. I felt like I had a ton of water inside my ears, but the screaming overtook any outside noise that was coming from reality.

I opened my eyes – which I hadn't noticed were closed – and looked up to see Emmett's clear, glass blue eyes. I blinked, thinking it was just a dream, but he was still there. "Emmett?" I rasped quietly.

He smiled reassuringly and the dimples made me smile. He was the most beautiful person in the entire world. His eyes were clear yet full of concern. "Rosalie, are the voices still there?" His voice was incredibly soft.

I attempted a small look to the side, noticing Carlisle was very alert and aware; leaning on his knees eagerly. He was waiting for my walls to come down so that he could assess me.

A shiver racked through my spine and I tried to stop reaching to cover my ears. I nodded weakly, hoping they wouldn't catch it but they did.

Emmett moved forward slightly, hesitating only for a small second. He reached out to me and I slowly sat up in the bed. He lifted me up as though I weighed the same as a feather, and sat me on his lap when he sat down. "Are they in your head, Rosalie?"

I nodded weakly against his chest, knowing very well that Carlisle was taking every part of it in. My walls were coming down and I was debating all the possibilities. It could go wrong in so many ways. I was becoming vulnerable.

"Are they nice? Or mean? What do they talk about?" Emmett continued to ask, rubbing soothing circles into the palms of my hands to soothe me. I felt safe enough wrapped up in his strong arms.

"Mean." I whispered, barely recognizing my own voice. I sound tiny, and so very scared. "They tell me to do things sometimes. They talk back at me a lot, tell me I'm worthless."

Emmett continued to ask me questions for what seemed like hours, and Carlisle joined in occasionally, though most of the time I refused to answer him. Near to the end of it, my thoughts were getting hazy and I was unable to pick up the conversation or understand what was going on. I just wanted to scream in frustration, or hit someone, mostly myself. I just wanted to curl there in Emmett's arms and fade away.

"Rosalie?" Through the haze, I heard a faint call of my name and I momentarily stiffened. Was this one of the voices? No, it was too quiet to be one of _them. _"Rosalie." It called again.

I swallowed, trying to clear my dry throat. "Yes?" I whispered, absolutely terrified. I was so confused, so lost and hopeless. I didn't even know where I was.

"Rosalie, its Carlisle. We need to do some tests, alright? I do believe you may be suffering from a condition called Schizophrenia. Research using brain-scanning equipment will show changes in the speech area of the brain when you hear voices if you are Schizophrenic. It's going to be alright, Rosalie. Do you want Emmett to come with you?"

I nodded softly, barely focusing on Carlisle's face or what he was saying. The only thing keeping me semi-sane was Emmett firmly holding me in his arms. He never let me go, and I was glad, because I didn't know what would happen if I lost touch with reality.

When the tests were over and Emmett brought me back to the hospital room, I sat up on the bed feeling a lot more aware than I previously had been. I had grown such an attachment to Emmett that I was sure wasn't healthy at all. I couldn't stop thinking about him – I just needed him with me all of the time. It was really difficult to not be near him.

He studied me with those gentle, beautiful, blue eyes and offered me a small smile. "What are you thinking about? Such a deep thinker."

I shrugged, a shiver rippling through me gently. He didn't fail to notice it. "I don't know. A lot of things. And you…"

He smirked. "Me? Hmmm, think I approve of that."

I smiled back at him, my heart warming again. Why was he so beautiful?

After a while, I began to get tired, and Emmett seemed to notice. Without asking for my permission at all, he gracefully climbed up onto the small bed and wiggled his way in so that he could pull me to his chest. His large hands gently brushed my hair and I felt myself getting tired. I fell asleep to the sound of his beautiful voice. I wondered how he was such a good singer.

"_May the angels protect you  
Trouble neglect you  
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home  
May you always have plenty  
Your glass never empty  
Know in your belly  
You're never alone…_

_I'll be in every beat of your heart  
When you face the unknown  
Wherever you fly  
This isn't goodbye  
My love will follow you stay with you  
Baby you're never alone…"_

I felt a warm, soft kiss on my forehead and then heard his voice close to my ear. "I love you, Rosie…" I wasn't sure if I was already dreaming, but it was the most beautiful thing.

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**sorry for not writing as much as I usually do...my heart just isn't with it today...  
**

**A lot is happening...and I feel like I'm losing control again.  
**

**I just want all of you to know that you are beautiful people, and I love your support so much. It keeps me strong and keeps me writing.  
**

**Take care.  
**


	11. Diagnosed Schizophrenic

**Story Name: Silence is Forbidden**

**Chapter Name: Diagnosed Schizophrenic **

**Protection: **© Copyright 2013 EmmettMonkeyMan™. All rights reserved.

**Summary: **Rosalie Hale struggles to accept herself. She's been left broken, both mentally and physically. The nightmares are catching up to her, the silence is rare. Rosalie can't control them, she can't accept them. She's lost. What other secrets does she hide behind her mask? Will the new people in her life be able to help her, or will she be lost forever? *better than it sounds.* Rated M for scenes of self-harm and sensitive content.

**Main Characters: **

Lillian and Gregory Hale, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Judson Hale.

Esme Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen.

**Dedication: **To all the wonderful souls out there that have suffered bullying, abuse & any other hard time. My heart of love goes out to you. I wish you the best for the future. Keep on fighting, you are strong. You can do it, you just have to believe! God bless you.

******▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬****  
**

2 months later

I left Carlisle's office with a small shudder and ran straight into big, muscular, but gentle arms. Any tension or negatively seemed to leave me as soon as I came into contact with _him. _

Emmett pulled me close to his chest, those clear glass blue eyes swirling with emotion. "How did it go?" He reached up and cupped my chin, then tilted it up to kiss me.

I was dazzled for a few seconds before I frowned lightly. "It was okay, I guess."

"Did you talk about what's been bothering you?" He raised his eyebrows at me, knowing all to well that I was hiding a lot of things that were bothering me from him and everybody else.

"Uh…kind of?" I chewed my lip guiltily, wishing so badly therapy wasn't so hard. I was used to Carlisle and his family now, but it was still really hard for me to discuss what was wrong.

Emmett shook his head and rolled his eyes at me playfully before pulling me along the corridor and out into the parking lot of the hospital. I had been to Forks General plenty of times in the last few months, and the more I visited, the worse it seemed to be for me. There were so many memories there that really sent shivers down my back.

But if it wasn't for my rough times, I wouldn't have met my wonderful boyfriend, Emmett, and he really was _wonderful._

He opened the passenger door to his car for me and I climbed in quietly, gathering my thoughts as he shut my door and got in himself. "Esme invited us over to dinner. Is that okay?"

I swallowed softly, debating what to do. Food really didn't bother me; I just didn't eat much and didn't feel like eating it. Everyone knew that – my family and Emmett's family. I guess this was a test from Esme. She was just worried for me. I nodded. It was the best thing I could do.

I was taking things hard. I had been diagnosed with Schizophrenia. After listening to the voices all my life, I was finding it difficult to follow Carlisle's instructions in ignoring them. Life for me was different to the others around me, and it was really starting to affect me, my life and my relationships with everyone.

Judson had refused to speak to me for 5 weeks – saying that I was a 'head case' and that he didn't want me anywhere near him. Jasper was trying so hard to keep our close relationship but whenever I was around him he was over-aware of everything and was nervous and edgy. My parents were the same, but more on top of me now. They constantly asked me if anything was wrong and if I felt normal.

I didn't know whether it was a good thing that I had a diagnosis or not. It was so overwhelming. Medication helped, but I didn't feel like myself.

The voices truly never went away. Especially not at night. They were as loud as ever.

Sometimes, it was really complicated for me to tell the difference between what was in my head and real life.

"Hey," Emmett's gentle voice broke through my thoughts and I slowly began to relax. "Don't think so much sweetie; it'll destroy you."

I looked over at him as he pulled up to the driveway of his house. He was looking over at me and I saw sparkles in the corner of his blue eyes – tears. "Don't cry, baby." I murmured, removing my seat belt once we'd parked.

He smiled faintly, though it wasn't all in it. My heart ached for him. "I'm not crying." He got out of the car before I could insist he was and I joined him.

He came around to my side and pulled me into his muscular body, wrapping his arms around me and leading me up to the porch.

I'd only known him for a few weeks, but I already felt our relationship was strong. He knew most things about me and was still there by my side. I couldn't be more grateful. He was my everything, and I couldn't imagine life without him. He was so beautiful, so strong, so kind and caring, so gentle. He was my rock and I didn't know how to hold on without him. I loved having him around, but I constantly kept thinking that he was going to leave me for someone better.

Esme was waiting for us in the hallway when we got through the huge door. She was a wonderful mother to her three children. I envied Emmett's family in a way. There was Carlisle – the best doctor in Forks (and no doubt the whole world!). He was caring, polite, and considerate and tried to help out everyone that he could. Then there was Esme – a wonderful, strong, beautiful mother and wife who accepted you no matter what. Then the kids – Emmett, Edward, and Alice. They were all so amazing, so intelligent, brave, comforting and following in the footsteps of their parents.

To me, their family seemed perfect. But even the most perfect family had problems. I'd come to realize that no one could be perfect.

"Rosalie!" Esme screeched in delight. She had the same pale, beautiful features as the rest of her family, which was so perfect. Something about her heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel colored hair reminded me of the ingénues of the silent-movie era. She was small, slender, yet less angular, more rounded than the others. She was that mother who was like a best friend to her kids and still able to be a good, strict mother at the same time. She eased me into a hug quickly and then let go. "It's so lovely to see you! Come right on through!"

She had that same hard-to-keep-up-with bubblyness that Alice had and I found that so amusing. The Cullen's knew how to brighten my day.

She led us into the grand dining room. It had a high ceiling and beautiful decor patterns. Emmett led me over to a chair next to Bella – Edward's soon-to-be-wife – and settled down next to me. He mouthed an apology to me softly whilst rolling his eyes.

I suppressed a giggle and watched Esme as she left the dining room into her comfort zone – the kitchen.

"Hello Rosalie." Bella said softly, smiling shyly. We had met only once, but she was a gentle soul, very awkward and shy.

"Hey Bella." I said back happily, reaching to take Emmett's hand as he reached over me to ruffle Bella's hair. He saw her as a little sister.

Waiting for Esme to serve up food was uneventful and quiet, or so it had been.

Just as I was starting to slip into a sleep, a sound erupted from the 2nd floor of the house.

A little scream of what sounded like "Rooooooseeeee!" carried along the staircase and right down to my ears in the dining room.

I opened my eyes, sighing a little. "Alice…"

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**I haven't been feeling so good lately, I've been having some setbacks in my illnesses and I've just found it really hard to be my old-self...**

**I'm trying to get back on track and am trying to feel a lot better...I've tried everything.**

**Please bear with me guys; I love everyone of you and hope my writing doesn't lack because of this.**

**God bless you**


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